a bit of synchronicity just occurred, just came across this and just had to copy & paste it here:
Then another talk and John says
"Of course the core of Mahamudra practice is ..."
"Oh no," I think, "not another hurdle to jump over."
It has often seemed to me that, as soon as I master something, that there is something else just out of grasp. An end point seems to beckon but it always seems elusive and we have something else to struggle with that I don't really understand.
"... the state of 'not-meditating'."
Well - here we are at a meditation centre being taught how not to meditate. Well of course it makes sense doesn't it?!!!?
So I try - and the usual battle of what I call the 'up and down' of my mind begins-
UP: Try harder, keep going.
DOWN: Don't put too much pressure on your self.
UP: Why not, you have to try. Was that it fleetingly?
DOWN: Don't be silly. Perhaps you're not meant to do it.
UP: Don't talk like that. Effort is what is required.
DOWN: Okay then but relax in to it.
UP: Relax what do you think I'm doing, stupid.
DOWN: Yes but can't you feel the tension in your ....
OH JUST STOP IT. GIVE IT UP.
Wait a minute. Where am I? Room. Sitting. Airy lightness. Not trying. Just sitting. Just damn well sitting.
It's very familiar, just as it is. Somehow I know it. But what I is that? It comes from itself? It is where it is and I knew it all before.
Check this out with John.
"John - you know this not-meditating thing, does it contain all three states, meditating, not-meditating and definitely not meditating?"
"Yes that's right. A place that has a timeless quality"
"Of course and it's all so familiar."
"Right - because things are as they are and you are just aware. Just aware - not meditating"
"All the ways are just one, no difference between them?"
"Yes, just being."
"Well, there we are then"
or, it could mean TWAT