by Geronimo » Wed Jun 22, 2011 5:20 pm
Old names do get corrupted...and so do new names...i went to a monastery to see how they casked their famous wines, supposedly useful in helping women to conceive...from the building of the cask to the pouring we participated ...it was a good day and lots of samples of the wine were made available, we joked with the ladies not to drink to much or they could get pregnant and it'd have nothing to do with the secret ingredient...oh how they laughed... we all took turns nailing the casks shut and pouring the wine into them, very hands on..as it got dark only a few of us were left and the head monk, Brother Typhoid, asked if we would like to see the old monkish custom of 'whack-en-fling' which had been carried out at the monastery since the time before Henry the VIII...and was in fact how the secret ingredient added to the wine was produced..only i wanted to see this French sounding craft, i had notions of victor hugo and notre dame with berries and fruit in mind, so i waited till the be-cowled Brother showed the others out, he barred the massive gate behind them and took me through the casking shed, round by and down a cobbled lane, to a door made of 10th century oak and up a spindle staircase to a tower where the old warning bell once resided..opening the door i was met by a pitch dark room lit only by a massive fire burning in an open hearth fire, which played host to a large pot sitting amist it..from the semi shadows of the room i could make out four brothers who had their backs to me, as i watched one turned and flicked something towards the pot in the fire which sizzled,... here you have the room for whack-en-fling... said Brother Typhoid..would you like to join in...before i could reply he continued.. Brother Ringworm...he said to one of the monks...Geronimo would like to have a go, please make room for him...and so saying he gently pushed me towards the brothers, walking to the corner i found the brothers standing around a table on which was a medieval book of porn...in front of which they had hoisted their habits and were whacking their bishops like they were churning butter and then flinging their rewards into the pot...to this day i retch when i think of the glasses id drunk with this secret ingredient...never drink monks wine...its not what it says on the bottle..
Laugh my friends even if it kills you, for at least you'll die happy
everything is "IMO" if you want to argue ring your local jobsworth council officer...they love it..
