Welcome To The Awakening.
About two weeks ago the answer to my next court appearance was a troublesome one. One not to be answerd by myself, unless it drives me into the culture of language: infantile, trivial and stupid. The best way to deal with this trick of the mind is to let it go. Firstly by recognizing that it is only a thought and at this time and space it hinders your development. Secondly let the thought go, to travel into the cosmic giggle and await its return. Sometimes it comes back to me answered through thought, sometimes it comes back through someonelse's words to which I have to listen very carefully to what people say to me, even a complete stranger. Patience is the secret here, as it does not come in minutes, hours, days or time; which is linear consciousness. But in Indian time, which has no time attached to it, it comes at the right time, the time when it was to be told.
Two days was all it took. The Pipe. The answer will come throught the pipe. That was the answer when I listend. Now, there is only one person I know who has a pipe, an American Indian Peace Pipe, and by chance I bumped into him two days later, by chance! His words of wisdom were not to defend myself, as he had also tried the same journey as myself and failed halfway through his trial by holding up his hands and admitting guilt because he was confused by the private languge used in the court system. Get a lawyer was his parting words. Who was I to disagree.
Made an appointment with a local solitcitor who specialises in criminal law? Spoke to him regarding my case. We agreed he would right to my previous solicitor and ask for my file, and then get back to me with his criminal advice. Two days before my trial I recieve a letter from my criminal laywer: ... "it does seem to us that it is not a matter where we could assist you in taking this matter to trial". A true criminal laywer indeed.
"OPTIPEMSIWAK" those who own themselves.
As I write this next part two days after the event. I shall speak with understanding and the truth of events.
Each morning on the day of court, I now follow a similiar routine. Alarm goes off a hour and a half before I leave the house. Kettle on for a strong cup of coffee with a tea spoon of honey, as I burn the sacred herb the sage to help purify my body, my thoughts and all those around my day. Then I spend around five minutes experiencing the feeling of FEAR. A wonderful trick of the mind that deserves a place in my heart. Not in the mind. So, to let go of this word fear I look very closely at it and see it for what it really is...a trick of the mind, for what it really is is cultural language. Because when you break it down, deconstruct what you actully see is four letters F. E. A. R.:
False
Expectations
Appearing
Real
A wonderful illusion to keep the children at play. As I laugh at this magical moment all the feelings of fear turn into Love, love from the heart and the mind. Time to go to court. I'm sixth to get called. Now all I was asking for was for the two guilty charges to be dropped. Time to prepare myself for court. And a new date set for trial with a plea of not guilty to all charges to give me a fair and just trial. I really could not explain it in a more simple way. So I did'nt. And do you know what? everyone in court got it too!. We agreed on my terms, everybody was able to relaxed as I said my piece. There was a moment during this time when I had a feeling as I was speaking, that to take just a little bit of control from the court players... they seem to relax, as if to say ' eventually we can stop this needy childish behaviour of being in complete control; a stressful position ever to be in. Even a simile from the female cleck, as I made my way from the courtroom,assured me it was a good day to be alive.