Not having any money i dont need a bank but one near me has become so concerned about losing customers that they have merged the bank with a wild west saloon to try attract people. You go in though bat-wing swing doors and right off they give you a whisky, a paying in slip and a cowboy hat while you belly-up and queue in line watching the cashier girls dancing the 'can can' on a stage made of two large desks. Soon after the manager, wearing a card sharks gamblers cuffs, approaches you and asks if you want to play cards for your money before you bank it, if this doesn't work they send over their prettiest girl employee with a feather in her hair, to try get you to give them your money without a receipt, i admit some are so pretty i have thought about leaving a deposit with them (huk huk huk huk huk) Seriously though, when this doesn't work they send over their troubleshooter, usually a pimply job experience youth, dressed, more times than not, in a shiny black Primark suit, with a hat so big it fall's over his ears making him tilt his head back to see where he is going, speaking from the side of the mouth he would usually sneer, spaghetti western style, along the lines "Ya looking for trouble or maybe a mortgage stranger?" its at this time i down the freebie drink, cast a last lingering look at the high kicking dancing totty and i ask directions to the local library. Southern Rock will do anything to survive (except take bonus cuts)
The library is no better, they have merged this with a 'massage' parlour, it is said the queue at opening time to meet Lady Chatterleys masseur backs all the way down to the police station, which is merged with the council offices, the court and the local politicians office, a sort of jail where the criminals can come and go as they please.
Laugh my friends even if it kills you, for at least you'll die happy
everything is "IMO" if you want to argue ring your local jobsworth council officer...they love it..